Mario: Zzz...ah, spaghetti...
???: (offscreen) HEEEELP!!!
Mario: ...zzz...ah, ravioli...zzz...ah, mama mia...
???: (offscreen) I said HEEEELP!!!
Mario: ...zzz...ah, spaghetti...zzz...
???: (offscreen) I GOT SPHAGETTI!!!
(Mario wakes up)
Mario: spagetti?! where? what the hell was that?
Mario: screw that! peach can save her own ass! I saved her too many times!
Luigi: well you have a point but what if it isn't peach
Mario: well then whats the chance of the person having cake?
Luigi: just follow me! I think I know where its coming from!
(cut to Bowser's Lair)
Bowser: BWAHAHA! I have captured you!!! bow before me!!!
(FightingMario54321 is shown to be in a cage)
FM: nahh I don't feel like it...
Bowser: ...what you have to!!!
FM: well maybe I don't want to!
Bowser: ...you're mean...but it doesn't matter! I have captured you!!
SMG3: WHAT!? I captured him!!! I just brought this to your front door!!!
Bowser: its you!!! you screwed up my nightmare stone!! and I captured this dude!!!
SMG3: >:( let the flashback tell you!!!
(flashback; cut to SMG3 and FM outside the pipe to Bowser's lair)
SMG3: hehe this prank is the best!! ok you when I shove you in the pipe I want you to break out and beat up bowser!
FM: screw you, how can I break out!?
(SMG3 throws FM in the pipe; cut to FM falling into the lair)
FM: ummm hi....
Bowser: awww are you an abanodoned baby? don't worry uncle bowser will look after you
FM: I am not an abandoned baby! now let me out!!
Bowser: aww you can talk too! your sooo cute!!
(FM throws a sink at Bowser)
Bowser: HEY!...don't do that baby
(FM throws a Snorlax at Bowser)
Bowser: naughty!!! don't make me-
(FM throws Ronald McDonald at Bowser)
Bowser: ok thats it your getting a spanking!!!
(FM throws a piano at Bowser)
(end flashback; cut back to Bowser and SMG3)
Bowser: I hate you
(cut to outside Bowser's lair)
Luigi: ok mario I think its coming from bowsers lair
(Mario is standing on the spinning platforms)
Mario: Weee! Weee!
Luigi: mario! come on!!! help me get through this wind!
(Luigi crawls through the wind while Mario flies on a Toad. Mario and Toad eventually get blown away)
Luigi: we finalley here! I think this is were the call is coming from
Mario: a pipe ate peach? (examining the pipe) hmmm how does bowser fit in here? is it safe? looks pretty dark... hey luigi check if its safe! (throws Luigi down the pipe)
Bowser: (offscreen) HEY! don't throw your garbage down here!
Mario: ....yeah its safe
(he enters the pipe; cut to Mario falling into Bowser's Lair)
Bowser: MARIO!!! I was expecting you...
Mario: and I was expecting a duck with a hat but noooo! now where is luigi and FM?
Bowser: oh luigi....he's just enjoying the view!!
(Luigi is in a cage right next to the edge)
Luigi: mario! HELP!!! get me and FM out of here!!
Bowser: pay me 1000000 coins or your brother dies.
Mario: meh kill him, he always won super smash bros
Bowser: ....seriously? I mean...this dude it useless!
Luigi: hey I'm useful for somethings! like....a missile
Bowser: whatever let mr. green go but we're keeping the baby!
FM: (offscreen) not a baby!!!
Mario: what? him instead of FM?
Luigi: (offscreen) mario!!
Mario: cmon I'd rather take nothing!
Luigi: (offscreen) D:
FM: (upside-down) you guys suck!
Bowser: now be gone! the gods are summoning me!!
(cut to outside Bowser's lair)
Mario: stupid bowser...with his greeky talk and his fatass..
Luigi: why did you offer not to take me!!! now we have to go back and save FM!!!
SMG3: (coming out of the pipe) HAHAHA! we're not done yet!!
Mario: oh its just smg3, what?
SMG3: what? your not scared of me!? you're scared of bowser!!!! cmon I'm ugly and scary!!!wait a minute I'm beautiful anyway....HAHAHA! YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK TO BOWSER!!! cause I'm going to put a curse on this pipe!
Luigi: how? are you going to lick it?
Mario: ooh are you going to make weird indian sounds
SMG3: no! like this!
all demons and baddies arise
as no more of you dies
(someone starts making chanting noises)
SMG3: now help me put an evil curse so-what the hell is that noise?
(Mario is chanting, spinning, and wearing a Native American chief's hat)
Mario: why aren't you chanting?
SMG3: now its cursed! and now when you go in! you just come out of the pipe! and the only way to break this curse is to find a magic orb!!! and why did I tell you that!?
Luigi: umm how are you going to get back?
SMG3: haha! the looping curse effect doesn't affect me!!! (he enters the pipe, only to come back on top of it and fall in again, creating a loop) ok maybe the curse work on me weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Luigi: great mario now we have to go find an orb
Mario: this is your fault, you had to find out who screamed help
Luigi: omg I don't know why I talk with you! but we need to find that orb to save FM!
Mario: I can find it much faster than you!
Luigi: oh you want to bet? ok first one to get the orb is the winner!
Mario: (holding a Magic Rock) I found it!
Luigi: thats a rock
Mario: oh yeah it'll break the curse!
(Mario throws the rock towards the pipe and it hits something offscreen)
SMG3: ow!! hey!
Mario: ...well it broke his neck
Luigi: well you can throw rocks if you want but I'm going to go find that orb!
Mario: yeah right were are you going to find a magic orb?
(cut to Mario and Toad in Peach's castle lobby)
Toad: no!!!try checking somewhere else!!!
(cut to Mario in Glowshire Kingdom)
Mario: ahh glowshire the kingdom that makes us look like crap
(cut to a view of the town. The Moon from Majora's Mask is in the sky. One man is crawling on the ground with no head; one man is pushing up against a house; another is break-dancing on a roof; another is on fire and flying through the sky. A head with yellow skin and a blue hat is in front of the camera.)
Head: welcome to glowshire! were drugs is a legal thing! weeeeeeeeeeeee!!! (flies away)
Mario: ok lets check this first house (rings doorbell)
Guy #1: (offscreen) get off my lawn! hippy!!! we don't want to sign any petitions!!
Mario: no! I want to ask you something
Guy #1: (offscreen) screw world peace!
(cut to a guy behind a corner)
Guy #2: hey buddy over here i think I know what you're looking for
Mario: really!? (walks offscreen)
Guy #2: (offscreen) no not really now hand over your wallet!
Doopliss: hey slick! your not going anywhere! not until you fight (gets his head shot off)
Mario: please!!! I'm not in the mood right now!!! I'm never going to find the orb!
Rocks: did you say magic!?
Mario: no! I did not! GOD!!! oh its you rocks!! maybe you can help me!
Rocks: sorry I can't ....dorito? (holds up a bag of Doritos)
Mario: nahh thanks
Rocks: wait a minute! I think I know someone who can help you!! I can teleport you to a place I know!!!
Mario: (offscreen) ok do it!
Rocks: (offscreen) ok here i go, abra ka.... (camera zooms in on Mario's face) DABRA!!
Mario: so umm am I suppose to teleport or what?
Rocks: (offscreen) you know you spoil the magic!!
(Mario is teleported to Bowser's lair)
Mario: well I teleported but why am I in bowser's lair again? OMG why?! do I have to see these things!
(Bowser is wearing a shower cap and holding a brush)
Bowser: do you ever knock!? now get out! and I'm not handing over your friend!
FM: no guys don't leave me with bowser!!!! he's in the shower!! (leaves cage)
SMG3: (offscreen) hey! get back in your cell!
FM: stupid smg3 telling me what to do (goes back into cage) and bowser taking a shower can't even see his....things...
(Mario and Rocks teleport to a desert town)
Mario: never teleport randomly!! now where are we?
Rocks: we are in Squangdingledore
more of a ghost town really
Mario: so where is the guy who can help us?
Rocks: over there...
(Old Man Hobo, dressed like a genie, is standing behind a crystal ball)
Old Man Hobo: hello how may I help you?
Mario: you see I'm looking for a magic orb that can break a curse
Old Man Hobo: ahh yes the magic orb its all coming together... you can find it.....in your heart...thats it you may go now
Mario: w-w-wait thats iT!?
Old Man Hobo: Thank you, come again!
Mario: wait! it can't I want a real answer not a gay hippie one!
Old Man Hobo: Thank you, come again!
Mario: ok thats it say that one more time and I will-
Old Man Hobo: Get out and come again!
Mario: OK THATS IT!! (Mario jumps at the old man, but he jumps out of the way) HEY! WHERE DID YOU GO!? COME HERE!!!!
(Mario jumps in front of the old man and pulls out an axe)
Mario: HERE'S JOHNNY!
(Old Man Hobo flies away)
Old Man Hobo: Thank you for coming! I'll see you in hell!
(Rocks has a bucket of popcorn)
Rocks: yay! again agian!
Mario: SHUT UP! now teleport us already
Rocks: ok fine mario does not like indians
(fade to white, then black)
Mario: (offscreen) Mama mia...
(cut to Luigi in a fiery place)
Luigi: well no matter how scary this looks...this must be it!
(a castle surrounded by a lava moat is shown. Old Man Hobo runs by)
Old Man Hobo: Thank you, come again!
Luigi: I wonder if this bridge is stable
(Luigi falls into the lava; cut briefly to static, then to Luigi by the castle doors)
Luigi: ok here goes..... (goes through doors) OMG! who are you?
Nintendofan996: (offscreen) no you idiot!!! (onscreen) I know why you're here...for the magic orb
but your not getting it ...after I use THIS!!! (holds up a bag of Doritos)
(cut to black)
Luigi: (offscreen) No!
(cut to Mario in a place with no grass)
Mario: ok so are we at hogwarts or something?
Rocks: (offscreen) no! this is where a very legendary wizard lives
Mario: well I hope nothing happens while Im walking
Mario: I SAID! I hope I nothing happens while Im walking!
(a guardian drops from the sky)
Guardian: hey stop right there! I'm the guardian of the wizard!! what is your buisness with him
Mario: oh you know trying to save a guy that is trapped by a giant fat turtle AND I NEED THE WIZARD HELP!!
Guardian: how about that wizard behind you?
Mario: oh him? thats just a rock! with a wizard hat! (Rocks has an "awesome face" for a split second) he's not a wizard
Rocks: yes I am!
Mario: shut up you!
Guardian: sorry still can't let you through
Mario: .......OMG! LOOK! A JAYWALKER!!
(Ronald McDonald is jaywalking behind the guardian. He makes a honking noise.)
Guardian: huh? where? HEY! no jaywalking the wizards house!!!
Mario: ...well on with adventure!! hey!!! mr wizard!!! come out!!! we got cookies! (Mario comes up to a stone rectangle) so what the hell is this supposed to be?
Rocks: YOU TOUCH IT YOU DIE...
(Mario goes into the wizard's house. Inside is a featureless black void.)
Mario: hello!? wizard!!! wow he's got a nice place!...alot a blackness
(a wizard resembling Old Man Hobo appears)
Wizard: what do you think you're doing in my house!!!
Mario: AHHH! HOBO- oh wait its just the wizard... CAN YOU HELP ME FIND THE MAGIC ORB!!
Wizard: oh so you want to find the magic orb? I think I can help
but you must find 7 important items first...
Mario: (offscreen) hey can you fix my toy?
(Mario throws a Mario doll at the wizard, knocking him off the edge)
Mario: oops.... (looks down at the wizard lying on the ground) you ok down there? ..are you sleepy?
(Super Mario 64 game over music plays)
Rocks: WHAT DID YOU DO?! you killed a legendary wizard!!
Mario: well he's a wizard I though he could fly!!
Rocks: good point.but how are we going to find the orb now?
Mario: with that pipe over there (the camera shows a pipe) that was easy
(the wizard gets up)
Wizard: omg! I'm alive! I knew I didn't need to call ambulance (he gets crushed by a falling ambulance)
Dr. Mario: (from inside ambulance) someone called the ambulance?
(cut to Mario and Rocks outside the castle)
Mario: so is this the creepy castle that has the orb?
Rocks: (offscreen) yep...reminds me of my girlfriend...ugh...
Mario: oh good! cause I gotta go!!
(Mario starts peeing in the lava. Two monsters emerge from the lava)
Monsters: OMG! my eyes!! I'm blind!!! (they fall back into the lava)
Mario: what the hell was that all about?
ok lets go face the face the bad guy! I hope he has a beautiful face (he enters the castle) here's johnney!!! OMG! its you!!!! who are you?
Nintendofan996: how does no one know me!? am I not awesome enough?! well anyway I got your brother captive and also your precious magic orb
(Luigi in in a jail cell)
Luigi: MARIO! (cries)
Mario: let him and the orb go! or I will use THE FORCE!!!
Nintendofan996: ok since I still feel hungover I'll give you options
you can either take your brother or the orb! but you better be quick the platform the orb is on will brake any moment
(the orb is on a platform over lava)
Orb: aaaaaahhhh help me!
Nintendofan996: and also there's a hobo in luigi's that will eat him
Hobo: MMmmm I where's dinner! I brought my soy sauce!!!
Nintendofan996: hurry! choose quick or you'll go home without any clothes!
Mario: ok mario think!! (cut to orb) a stone... (cut to Luigi and the hobo) or your brother (cut back to Mario) well mario the answer is quite obviouse...
(transition to Mario walking out of the castle with the hobo)
Hobo: OOohhh what are we going to eat
Mario: you're eating out of the toilet
Luigi: that son of a-....>:(
Nintendofan996: wow I Did not expect him to take the hobo.... your brother sucks!!!
(cut to black)
Text: 1 hour later
(cut to Mario relaxing outside the castle)
Mario: ahh so relaxing, oh hi guys join my non-homosexual club!
(a star comes crashing down, blasting Mario away. Cut briefly to static)
Luigi: mario!! look I'm back!!! what have you been doing the whole last hour
Mario: relaxing doing nothing...
Luigi: (offscreen) where's the hobo?
Mario: ehh I set him off into the wild
Luigi: the guy who captured me let me go,cause your dumbass choice made him cry!! he even let me have the orb!! you are an idiot!
Mario: you have the orb!/ lets go throw it in the garbage!
Luigi: (offscreen) mario!
Mario: ok ok fine lets go save FM
(cut to the pipe to Bowser's lair)
Luigi: there it is....where we all started...mario throw the orb in the pipe
Mario: well here I go
(Mario throws the orb at the pipe, but it bounces off of the lip)
(The orb bounces off Mario's face, and then falls off the platform and out of the level)
Mario: oops again...
Luigi: OMG! REALLY! WE WASTE ALL OF OUR TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAKES ME VERY ANGRY!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(Rocks comes out of the pipe)
Rocks: oh hey guys, it appears that the pipe has never been cursed the whole time!!!!
Luigi: THAT MAKES ME MORE ANGRY AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mario: that's great!!! cmon luigi lets go save FM!
Luigi: whats the point!? bowser is going to trap me and you will just be an idiot!!
Mario: oh don't worry...cause this is a diffrent plan...
(cut to Bowser's lair)
Bowser: (sniff) and the...3 little pigges..got eaten...wasn't that...a touching story?
FM: yeah great now let me out!!!
Bowser: no cause now we're going to-...do you hear something? (a helicopter appears above them) OMG! a helicopter on the port bow!!!
Mario: sppsh testing testing 123... la la I AM LUIGI ANDI AM GAY!! ok anyway BOWSER! give back FM or we'll take him by force!!!
Bowser: NEVER! he's mine! smg3 vanguish them!!
(SMG3 is controlling a turret)
SMG3: I hate you...but ok
(SMG3 fires at the helicopter from multiple directions, but the bullets are all dodged)
Mario: WOO! we're too good!
SMG3: ok thats it you asked for it! (he fires a missile at the helicopter, but it is blocked by a monster, sending the missile towards SMG3) ahh poop (the missile explodes offscreen)
Bowser: ahh he was always useless
(the helicopter has attached a cord to FM's cage and is carrying him away)
FM: hehe see you sucker!!
FM: umm guys we have a problem..
(Bowser is holding on to the cage)
Bowser: YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE!!
Luigi: mario! do something!!!
Mario: (holding a brick) oh lord guide this brick to safety AMEN!
(Mario throws the brick at Bowser, causing him to fall back down into his lair)
Luigi: YES! WE DID IT!!
Bowser: this sucks...
(cut to outside Peach's castle. FM's cage lands on the ground, followed by the helicopter crashing)
Mario: (from within helicopter) we're here...
(cut to black)
Text: thx for watching
(end of video)
- ↑ Nintendofan996 goes unnamed in this blooper, simply being referred to as "???"