|Retarded64: The Toad, the Fat and the Ugly.|
|Season 5, Episode 17|
|Series||Super Mario 64 Bloopers|
|Air date||May 31st, 2015|
|SMG4 Plays Merio Nernterndoes|| SM64 Bloopers: Shoot to the Observatory in the Sky
|v • t • e|
The video begins with a Shy Guy starting to dance for money, as told by the sign reading "will dance for sum coins". Then Mario and Toad are seen walking around Delfino Plaza. Mario seems ticked off as he read a note reading, "buy me some nEW SHOES MERIO! -PECH" (Peach). Then a flashback begins where Parakarry arrives at the Mario bros.' house, first yelling "you've got mail faggot" and then annoyingly yelling "you've got mail" repeatedly. Mario finally comes outside to check the mail, which then Peach comes out of the mailbox. Peach tells Mario to do her a favor, making Mario felled pleased, but she uses a cannon to shoot a mail at Mario, knocking him down.
Back at the story, Toad tells Mario that he is enjoying his time, buying the princess's stuff with him, but the red plumber doesn't care and flies into a wall injuring himself. Toad tells him that it's his duty to go get Peach's new shoes, but Mario angrily tells him he's a goddamn plumber, telling Toad if he thinks he don't have a life, to which Toad replies with "no". Mario then rage quits and runs off to town looking for new shoes for Peach, he looks at a shoe and jewelry store building but looks for another one called "Sparkly Shoes" which is actually a "gay bar" and finally finds a hobo, Mario goes towards him, and tells him if he can have his shoes and Mario however didn't want to spend his money on new ones.
While Mario was busy talking to the hobo, Toad interacts with other toads, who had no interest in talking to him until Toad finds Toadette and quickly falled in love with her and watches her butt in excitement, later, shy guy was still dancing on stage until Toad knocks him off the stage and wants Toadette's booty. Toad meets her and starts acting horny to her weirdly, Toadette was shockingly not impress with it and attacks Toad, sending him flying. It was however shown to be his thoughts and Toad thinks it's not a good idea. Mario is seen grabbing the hobo's shoe and Toad tells him to stop grabbing the hobo's shoes and help him, the hobo manages to lose Mario's grip and escapes causing Mario to scold Toad and Mario looking for them again, Toad shuts him up and tells Mario to get a sexy Toad for him, at first Mario mocks about both having sex until he imagines a pile of toads raping each other causing Mario to freak out, Toad makes a deal with him, if Toad gets Toadette's booty then Mario gets Toad's booty, Mario gets shocked and denies the deal, Toad then decided to give him spaghetti as the deal, causing Mario to quickly accept the deal and grabs the spaghetti.
Toad & Mario tracks down Toadette at Delfino Plaza and tried their best to impress her, Mario surprises Toadette in disguise as a man wearing a cap with a $ symbol and whomps with arrow-like wings and blue blocks like-button on his overalls with him donning a black mask to hide his identity, Mario acted like he likes her ass and tries to get her, Toadette calls out to stop that awful man, Toad calls out and slides down a hill, acting all heroic and tackles Mario but landed on him like a chew toy, Mario acted that he got injured, Toadette was impressed that she was being saved, Mario eats his spaghetti to heal, while he was eating it, Toad kicks it off the island causing a Bubba to jump out of the water and swallow the spaghetti whole. Toadette was impressed that Toad defeated Mario, Toad tells Mario that he is defeated, unfortunately Mario was angry that his spaghetti was gone and officially assaulted Toad.
Toadette runs off on a beach and relaxes, Mario was irritated by Toad's idea and wears the frog suit to swim underwater, Toad walks towards her if she minds letting him sit by him, Toadette agrees, Mario gets ready to impress Toadette with Toad, Toad tells her if she wants to see something cool, Toadette didn't know what he was talking about until Frog Mario holds up a sign said "I LOVE YOU! toadette!!" with Toad himself in it, Toadette wondered what it was and checked the sea and freaked out when she saw Frog Mario, Mario didn't know who she was reacting to, but Toad was surprised that she would react to Frog Mario, Toadette grabs out an assault rifle and shoots down a shocked Mario, Toad backs away while Toadette tells him what was he saying.
Toad tells Mario that this is the last chance to impress her but a seriously injured Mario gives him the middle finger, Mario rides a Yoshi Helicopter and tells Toad that he owes him, Mario rides it across the sky and leaves engine smoke trail to make a love message in the sky for Toadette to impress her, Toad tells Toadette to look in the sky, Mario was ready to finish with the message with Toadette in her name in the sky until a Klepto appears and attacked the helicopter by pecking it, the name "Toad" was half-way finish and the other half was scrambled, Toadette looks up in the sky and it reads "I HEART YOU TOADSWORTH", with the Yoshi Helicopter falling down and explodes, Toadette doesn't know what Toad was talking about, Toadsworth is surprised that he thought Senpai notice him, making him excited, Toad however attempts to commit suicide with a gun.
Toad gives up and apologies for Mario's broken spine, showing Mario bending back, Mario tells him to not worried about it and finds the sky looking nice, Toadette comes back and tells Toad that he is the toad that she sees all day and tells him who is he, Mario explains to her that he's "Toad number 232563465" and lets her know if she knows him. Toadette finds all the toad to look the same and thinks that she knows him, Toadette invites Toad to get some ice cream, causing both Toad & Mario to dance for making love tonight, however she introduced her friend named Frankie, he pops out of the ground and creepily greets Toad, scaring him.
The three Toad are shown sitting on a bench; Toadette enjoys her ice cream with Frankie singing, and the main Toad getting annoyed of Frankie's constant singing until he snaps and tells Frankie to keep quiet. Toadette doesn't notice their negative relationship and finds them as getting along with each other, she tells them that she's going to use the bathroom and don't have fun without her. While she's gone, Toad grabs Frankie and slams him against the wall. He tells him to stop acting like he knows what's going, but Frankie talks him back and tells him to keep his paws off his "Kool-Aids". Toad then tells him to understand his statement, but Frankie replies by saying he likes turtles. So Toad swears to him that he'll fight him. Toadette returns and still doesn't notice the negative relationship and thinks they're hugging each other, then Toad reluctantly replies that they're bonding, and even Frankie reluctantly replies to that. Meanwhile, Mario is riding a boat at sea in the distance, snidely shouting "gaaayyyyyyyy!" at the two rival Toad, only for him to be knocked off his boat by a rock thrown by one of them.
Later at Green Hill Zone, Toad and Toadette are sitting together looking at the sun go down, Toad then was about to tell her that he loves her until Frankie interrupts it, pissing off Toad even more, Toad argues with him while Frankie irritates him causing a fight taking place in a circle fortress field with the Bowser in the sky background, Toad throws a spaghetti at Mario in order to assist him in battle against Frankie. Frankie shows off a cupcake "muffins" to Mario. Mario was attracted to it but resist, Mario and Toad charges at him while Frankie dances Macarena causing an explosion, Mario wonders if they got him, Frankie pops out of the ground and gives them a scary surprise, causing Mario to get shocked, even Toad but explodes after the surprise. Mario can't figure out why he isn't dead, even Toad couldn't figure it out, Mario thinks he's an invincible god and finds his eyes to be soulless, Frankie takes out his muffins again if anyone wants some, freaking Mario out. Mario realizes that he is missing his phone, only to revealed that Frankie sneakily grabs the phone and tries to call the ice cream man, Mario didn't really find it that important until Princess Peach crashes on the ground and tells Mario if he did phone her, Mario was shocked to see Peach again and Frankie complained that he want the ice cream man, Mario reluctantly tells her that she didn't need to come, Peach tells him where's the new shoes that he was told to buy earlier, Mario forgets about the new shoes and tries to figure out a way to impress her, Mario took off his shoe shows it to her as a new shoe, she wasn't happy with it, Frankie tells Mario who is this "scary lady", Mario tells him that she's a bitch, causing Peach to go outrageous and tortures both the scared Mario & Toad, burning them alive.
(The fortress field was more of an imagination) Toadette tells Toad if he was okay, Toad was excited that she cared about him causing Toad to shout to Mario that he loves him, a wounded Mario gives him a quizzical look and asks "dafuq?", Toadette was disgusted by Toad's love for Mario and states that love is gross and tells Toad that she is 9 years old causing Toad to be shocked by her age making Frankie finding it better, the police appears out of nowhere and arrest Toad. Peach forces Mario to go shopping together causing Mario to get irritated again and tells Mario if he seen Toadsworth, Mario replies saying he hadn't seen him. Toadsworth is seen at a mysterious place surrounding him with candles and a table in front of him, Toadsworth declares that he will find Senpai and he will notice him. The video ends with a book with a Senpai photo.
- Shy Guy (Cameo appearances)
- Princess Peach
- Parakarry (Cameo appearance)
- Waluigi (Cameo appearance of his head as a picture on the exterior wall of the "Sparkly Shoes" shop/gay bar)
- Hobo man (Cameo appearance)
- Whomp(s) (Cameo appearances as Mario's wings)
- Blubba (Cameo appearance)
- Frog (Minor appearance as Mario's costume)
- Klepto (Cameo appearance)
- Rock (Cameo appearance)
- Police officier (Cameo appearance)
- Senpai (Cameo appearance as a picture)
- In this blooper, SMG4 doesn't appear, even mentioned nor cameos for the second time, the first being "The Pirate Plumbers".
- The title of this video is a parody of a popular movie, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
- Oddly enough, despite being a minor character in the blooper, the Shy Guy still appears on its title card.
- This is the second Retarded64 episode to include a recent intro made by KingAsylus91 on 2015 instead of the usual intro of this series. The first in this case was "Son of a Bowser.".
- As the Toad are major characters in this video, Mario's troll-facing head is replaced by a blue Toad looking derpy in the intro of KingAsylus. It's the second time he's replaced in that intro, the first being "The Pirate Plumbers", in which Luigi replaces Mario (as he's a major character of that previous blooper).
- This video might be a reference to OnyxKing67's blooper "Love Is For The Shrooms" released earlier in August 2014, which has a very similar plot: Toad trying to get Toadette to like Toad with the help of Mario.
- With this video, SMG4 has started to use some new Super Mario 64 models for several Toad, as well as for the Princess Peach and the Shy Guys. Those models have the same moves than Mario. However, Toad himself still appear in his original model, to be distinguished more easily from the other Toad who used to look identical to him in the past. Peach also still appears occasionally in her previous look.
- The scene featuring several Toad raping each other in the Princess Peach's Castle is a clip from the video "M. K. Nature Channel".
- However this time the flashback is short and don't include SMG4's appearance because it's trimmed.
- This is the first blooper of SMG4 in which it visibly shows Mario's eyelids move (when he gets annoyed) in his SM64 model (regular model).
- The frog costume, when it's first seen before Mario uses it, as well as the shoes Mario bought for Peach appear as stickers from the video game Paper Mario: Sticker Star for the Nintendo 3DS.
- When Toad first tries to seduce Toadette. voice clips from Maximbady can be heard.
This is the transcript of the Retarded64 blooper "The Toad, the Fat and the Ugly".
(Scene starts with standard Smg4 logo. When Smg4 is hit by PRODUCTIONS, Blue Toad pops up.)
Blue Toad: 360 no-scope!
(Scene starts with a Shy Guy crouching down and then dancing with a sign that says will dance for sum coins. Scene then switches to Mario walking with Toad. Mario is reading a note that says: buy me some NEW SHOES MERIO!-PECH. We then see a flashback of Parakarry flying to Mario's house.)
Parakarry: Wheeeeeeeeeeee. Hey you got mail faggot. You got mail. You got mail. You got mail. You got mail. You got mail...
Mario: (Goes up to mailbox) Wahoo! (Punches mailbox)
Peach: (Comes out of mailbox) Mario! Help me! Mario! Help me! Mario! Help me! Mario! Help me! Mario! Help me! I have a favour for you mario...if you know what i mean <3
(Peach shoots note at Mario. Flashback ends.)
Toad: HELP! MARIO!
Toad: i thought i'd tell you...i'm enjoying my time with you, buying the princess's stuff!
Mario: I don't give a fuck! (Mario is thrown against a wall) YAAAAA! Ow! Imma tired! Imma hungry!
Toad: BUT MARIO, IT'S YOUR DUTY!
Mario:I'm a goddamn plumber! Do you think I don't have a life?
Mario: F*ck you, Toad! (Runs away.) shoes…shoes…hmmm…(Looks at Scribblenauts shoe store) No! (Looks at Waluigi's FABULOUS SPARKLING SHOE STORE/Gay bar) No! (Looks at Scribblenauts Hobo) Yeah! Ha ha ha! heeyyy! uh…can i have your shoes? they are nice shoes…and i really don't want to spend money on crappy new ones!…
(Toad is talking to other toads.)
Toad: hey! wassup homie? (Toad ignores him.) ok…thats cool! (Another Toad walks by.) loving those spots bro! (Toad ignores him as well.) …FINE THEN! YOUR SPOTS WERE GAY ANYWAY! (Toadette walks in) Whoa! (??? Song plays in background, Toad stares at her ass.) Dammmmmmn! Oh Damn! Damn! Dammmmmmmmmmmn! (Shy Guy is still dancing, Toad jumps and knocks him off.) Bring me that ASS! (Approaches Toadette) Heyyyyyy! Baby!
Toadette: Yo! Heeheehee!
Toad: ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! ME WANT TO DO SHAKALACALACALACALACA BOOM BOOM WITH YOU!
Toadette: What the FUCK? (Kicks Toad.)
(Scene cuts to Toad back where Shy Guy was standing.)
Toad: ok…maybe not a good idea…
(Mario is trying to take of the shoes of the screaming Scribblenauts hobo. Toad approaches.)
Toad: mario!! stop sucking that hobo's foot and help me!
(Hobo runs away screaming)
Mario: NOO! free shoes! come back!!! way to go toad! now i have to search again!!!
Toad: shut up and help me get a sexy toad!
Mario: oooOOO…is somebody in love?…you toads gonna mate? (Mario imagines a bunch of toads in a ball ramming against eachother.) WAH! AH! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!
Toad: if you help me get the booty…you can have my booty!
Mario: Whoa! No!
Toad: (Holds out spaghetti) alright! fine! you can have this!
Mario: HOLY SHIT! Yeah! Okey-dokey!
(Toadette is walking down the beach)
Toad: alright mario. just like we rehearsed!
Mario: (Drops down behind Toadette) Show me your boobs! (Toadette screams) Ooh! Oh boy! Look at that ASS! Imma gonna get you!
Toadette: Somebody stop that awful, awful man!
Toad: (Toad flies in.) Yeah! STOP BREAKIN THE LAW, ASSHOLE! (Runs into Mario)
Mario: ooh…umm ow…that hurt.
Toad: Ho ho ho! ??? (Kicks Mario's spaghetti into the mouth of Blubba)
Toadette: haha! my hero!!!!
Toad: DEFEATED NOW, BIOTCH?
Mario: YOU SON OF A BITCH!
(Toad Screams, Toadette runs away. Scene then moves to Toadette lying on a beach. Mario is with the frog suit on an island.)
Mario: This is bullshit! (Mario hops in and starts swimming towards Toadette. Meanwhile, Toad approaches her.)
Toad: hey…mind if i sit here?…
Toadette: oh! sure!
Mario: (Hopping across the bottom of the water) Okey-dokey! Let'sa go!
Toad: …want to see something cool?
(Mario appears from the water, holding a sign that says: I LOVE YOU! toadette!!)
Toadette: What is it? (Sees Mario) JESUS CHRIST! OH GOD! (Pulls out machine gun) KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Mario: OH FUCK!
(Toadette fires off 3 rounds.)
Toadette: sorry, you were saying?
(Toad slowly moves away. Scene cuts to Mario and Toad watching Toadette.)
Toad: come on mario! just this last time please!!!
(Mario is laid against a wall, bloody and torn. He sticks up his middle finger at Toad. The scene then cuts to Mario in a green and red Helicopter Yoshi.)
Mario: you owe me toad!!
(The helicopter moves along, letting out smoke behind it, spelling the words "I HEART YOU" Toad cheers, and Toadette looks up.)
Mario: now for the "toadette!!"
Toadette: What the fuck are you talking about?
Toadsworth: *gasps* Senpai's noticed me! Yes! Yes!
(Toad loads a gun and puts it to his head. Scene then changes to Toad walking with Mario and Mario's back bent so Mario faces toward the sky.)
Toad: sorry mario…about your broken spine…
Mario: ehh don't worry about it! the sky looks nice.
(Toadette walks up.)
Toadette: hey you!! you're that toad i keep seeing all day! …who are you??
Mario: he's toad number 232563465! you know him don't you?
Toadette: well all the toads here look the same…so i guess i know him? cmon. we can go get ice cream!
(Mario and Toad start dancing, with the words onscreen saying "MAKIN SOME LOVE TONIGHT!")
Toadette: oh. and meet my other friend frankie!
(A toad with glasses pops up.)
Frankie: HI THERE!
(Toad screams. The scene then shifts to Toadette with ice cream, Frankie, and a disgruntled-looking Toad are sitting on a bench.)
Frankie: (Singing) Ding, fries are done. Ding, fries are done. Ding, fries are done. Ding, fries are done. I gotta run. I gotta-
Toad: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Toadette: hah…look at you two getting along! i'm going to the bathroom, don't have fun without me!!!
Toad: COME HERE!
(Toad pins Frankie against a wall)
Toad: Don't act like I don't know what's going on! Keep your paws off my kool-aid! Understand?
Frankie: I like turtles!
Toad: I'll fucking fight you dog!
Toadette: wow! are you two hugging??
Toad: oh…yeah! me and frankie are really bonding!!!
Frankie: Yayyyyyy! I made a new friend!
(Mario rides up on a boat.)
Mario: Ha! Gayyyyyy! (Toad throws Rocks at him.) Oh, shit!
(Scene shifts to Sonic the Derphog's world. Toad and Toadette are sitting on the edge of a cliff.)
Toadette: wow…pretty isn't it?
Toad: listen…even though we just met…i need to tell you…i….i-
Frankie: (Pops up between the two) Hey guys! Hey guys!
Toad: GOD DAMMIT! THAT'S IT! DO YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!
Frankie: we are outside :D
Toad: DON'T INTERRUPT YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Frankie: Are you stupid or something?
(A loud crash is heard, and Toad and Frankie are teleported to Bowser's Lair.)
Toad: i'll TEACH YOU!!
(Toad takes out some spaghetti and throws it into the mouth of a currently frozen Mario. He is sitting next to a sign that says: "insert spaghetti to continue." Mario activates.)
Mario: AHHHHHHAHAHAHA! It's time to kick ass and chew SPAGHETTI! And I'm all out of SPAGHETTI!
Frankie: (Holding cupcake) You have room for a muffin?
Mario: *gasps* Ahhhh! No!
(Toad and Mario run at Frankie)
Frankie: (Dancing) Ayyyyy, Macarena!
(Mario and Toad make contact with Frankie, screen goes white, loud explosion is heard.)
Mario: …did we get him???
Frankie: (Still alive) Wassup, BITCHES?!
(Toad and Mario scream)
Mario: dude…he isn't dead. WHY ISN'T HE DEAD!?
Toad: I DON'T KNOW MAN! I'M FREAKING OUT!
Mario: what if he's an invincible god…LOOK AT THOSE SOULESS EYES!
Frankie: (Holds out cupcake again) Who wants a muffin?
Mario: (Screams) hey wait! where's my…
Frankie: (Holding Mario's phone and dialing a number) i wanna call the ice cream mannnn!!!!!
Mario: Mama F*cker! Come on!
(Frankie apparently dials Peach, Peach drops down.)
Peach: you phoned me??
Mario: Holy torch tits!
Frankie: Aw, come on! i wanted the ice cream man! not a mom!
Mario: PRINCESS!…what a suprise…you didn't really need to come-
Peach: that reminds me, where's those shoes i sent you to buy?…
Mario: Whoa! Ahh, ahh! (Holds up his own shoes) I got it!
Frankie: who is this scary lady?
Mario: SHE'S A BITCH!
(Peach gets angry and inflates, attacking Mario and Toad. Mario and Toad scream. The scene then shifts back to Sonic the Derphog's world. Mario and Toad are lying on the ground, on fire. Toadette walks up.)
Toadette: umm…you okay toad???
Toad: I LOVE YOU MARIOOOO!
Mario: The fuck?
Toadette: eww! boys have cooties! love is gross!!! i'm 9 and i still hate this whole love thing!
Toad: YOU'RE 9???
Frankie: That's even better.
(Police car falls from the sky, Policeman comes out.)
Policeman: Stahp right there, pervert! (Shoves screaming Toad into police car) Okay, nothing to see here, move along!
Peach: and as for you, we're going shopping. TOGETHER!
Mario: Mama F*cker!
Peach: also, have you seen toadsworth?…
Mario: …no i haven't…
(Scene cuts to Toadsworth in what seems to be a shrine.)
Toadsworth: one day…i'll find him…and he'll notice me…
(There is a book with Senpai on the cover.)
End of episode