Retarded64: Mario Simulator
Retarded64 Mario Simulator

Retarded64 Mario Simulator

Season 4, Episode 17
Episode Info
Series Super Mario 64 Bloopers
Air date May 4, 2014
Idea by Unknown
Directed by SuperMarioGlitchy4
Episode Guide
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The Wacky Wario Bros.: The Winning Ticket.

A Dose of Dr. Mario

SM64 Bloopers: The Toadassass-ination

Mario's Spageti Delivary


For the fictive video game upon which this episode is based, see here.

Retarded64: Mario Simulator, often simply called Mario Simulator (just like the fictive video game of the same name), is the 177th video made by SuperMarioGlitchy4, and the sixth episode in the Retarded64 series.

Synopsis Edit

Mario gets a video game called Mario Simulator, in which the player can "do Mario stuff" (according to the Narrator).

Plot Edit

In the beginning of the episode, the title screen to the right shows. Then, Mario appears in the video game. The narrator then explains what is going on. After that, Mario is met by a Luigi-like guy, whom Mario punches, and moves on. Mario then tries to enter a pipe, but is too fat to enter. He then finds a Toad, and is forced to "kill it before it lays eggs". Mario then enters the Castle and encounters Bowser. Mario then knocks Bowser out of the Koopa Clown Car, freeing Peach. Then Mario throws a sandwich at Bowser, killing him. An overjoyed Peach happily walks outside, and immediately gets herself captured again. Mario then finds one of the classic Brick Blocks, and jumps into it in hopes of getting coins, but ends of breaking his neck and spine. Mario then does a "360 degree noscope swagalicious ass pound" (which later turns out to be a very complicated way of doing the regular jump) and stomps a Goomba. However, he is struck by one coming from behind, and Mario dies of Goomba diabeetus. Mario goes through the beginning of the game again, looking at his hunger meter which is critically low. Mario eats spaghetti for 2 hours, but his hunger meter was filled only 1%. After that, Mario rage quits and gives the game to Luigi and Wario before getting it back. He's still hungry, but he is given a kart instead of food. He drives out of the castle and immediately crashes, and he encounters Daisy with spaghetti in her skirt. She calls Mario a gutless fatso, and he dies of heartbreak (claiming he "wanted to live in a world with out fat people").  Mario goes through the beginning shenanigans AGAIN, but this time, he runs over Daisy with his kart. At a gas station, Mario meets Swagtubbie and is totally jealous of his shades. He is given the option to "be a douche", and he steals the Swagtubbie's shades, who promptly tries to run Mario down. Mario manges to get onto higher ground, and the Swagtubbie vows revenge. Due to the amount of points he got for "being a douche", Mario unlocks a secret simulator mode: Toad simulator. He screams in rage, confusion, and dread, all the while Toad has begun to play this new mode, quickly achieving 9999999999999999999 (9 quintillion 999 quadrillion 999 trillion 999 billion 999 million 999 thousand and 999) points. Mario then throws Toad out and continues playing the regular game. Mario then confronts a hoard of Teletubbies, led by SwagTubbie. The hoard then throws him into the lake. Mario then tries to play the game one more time, but dies taking a crap. Mario becomes so angry, he actually turns into a Super Saiyan. He flies into space and throws the game cartridge into the Sun. Mario then proclaims, "I did it. I saved the world." Unbeknownst to Mario, immediately after he says this, the Earth explodes.


Errors Edit

  • The Toad Simulator mode image disappears for a split second.
  • In the Toad and Luigi Simulators, you can see the health still says "Mario".
  • When Mario punches Luigi out of the house, the glass is floating in mid-air, and also * *When Mario walks out of the house, saying I got sh*t to do, it disappears.
  • When Mario says "No! She's a b*tch!", but Bowser is a male not female. Only he should have said "No! He's a b*tch!".
  • When Po chasing Mario with his car, he is missing in his car. Also his hair can be seen.
  • When Super Saiyan Mario throws the game into the sun, his Super Saiyan hair disappears.


  • The episode made various references to video games. 
  • The Game Over music heard on the 3rd and 4th deaths in the video is from Sega Rally.
  • On the first loading screen, Rocks in sprite form is visible.
  • In the HUD, Mario has 999999999 of every obtainable item in the game.
  • The HUD is re-used from Mario's trials in Taken (like an idiot).
  • The part when Mario throws the cartridge into the sun is a Superman reference.
  • Mario apparently lived from "1990-chicken", which may be a reference to when Shy Guy died in Cooking with Bowser and Mario when it said he lived from "1990-toast".
  • The Mario Simulator cartridge is a Nintendo 64 cartridge.
  • This marks the first (and to date only) appearance of SwagTubbie.
  • At the bottom of the menu screen, it says, "copyright. smg4 you die >:("
  • Mario referenced the Angry Video Game Nerd: Episode Superman 64 in the near end by going into space and throwing the Mario Simulator Nintendo 64 cartridge into the sun because the game was bad.
  • Before the game starts, The text "insert 1 coin" hits Mario, so you have to pay for playing Mario Simulator.
  • When SwagTubbie gets into the gas station, it can be heared the Barbie song very, very low.
  • When Luigi annoys Mario, a unused Minecraft camera can be seen.
  • The picture on the cartridge (Mario using a pipe as a toilet) appears again in Problematic Pipe Problems.
  • This is one of the many smg4 videos that does not use "pingas" in any way.
  • It is revealed in The SMG4 QNA (400k Subs :D) that this is SMG4's favorite video.
  • A sequel, Princess Capturing Simulator, exists.


(The video begins with Mario walking on his simulator title screen)

Mario: Press start to play. Okeydokey, do just like Mario okay?

("Insert 1 coin" hits Mario to off-screen)

(Loading screen appears, and so does Rock Wizard)

(Went to Mario's and Luigi's house, and Mario appears With Derp Eyes Texture)

Narrator: Hello, welcome to Mario Simulator, you get to do Mario stuff, Hooray.

Mario: Hoo hoo hoo.

(Mario goes to the living room)

Luigi: Mario, it's New Super Mario World! Everything is different, there's water in the sky, Mario! And there blocks everywhere, Yoshi coins.

(Yoshi poops out a coin)

(A menu of selection appears)

Luigi: Mario---

(Mario punches Luigi out of the house and crashes)

Luigi: Oof! My children!

(Mario runs off)

Mario: I got shit to do.

Title: Pipe Simulator

(Mario tries to go in the pipe)

(Mario outside the game repeatedly pressing the A button)

(Mario walking by)

Toad: Hey!

(Mario turns around)

Toad: What are you doing today?

(Mario screams and shoots Toad)

(Toad dies instantly)

(Mario gets 5 experience points)

(Mario walks to the hallway from the castle door)

(Bowser captured Peach in his clown cannon)

(Mario looks shocked)

(Bowser laughs evilly)

Toad: The princess has been captureddddd!! (spining around)

Narrator: Oh no, it's Bowser.

(Mario picks what Bowser equals, and went to the lemon)

Mario: No! She's a b*tch.

(Mario outside the game repeatedly presses the Z button to attack Bowser)

(Mario misses and hits Bowser's clown cannon, but Bowser suddenly falls out his clown cannon.)

Mario: It's raping time!

Bowser: Please, please bring ever laps.

(A menu of selection appears, Mario outside the game selects the sandwich)

(Mario throws the sandwich at bowser)

Shao Kahn: FATALITY! (From Mortal Kombat 3, Ultimate Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat Trilogy

(The text says battle won, and gives Mario one experience point, and one awesome point)

Mario: Mmm, I'm the best. Mmm, I'm the best.

Peach: Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Aah!

(Peach idiotically goes to the exit door, and gets captured by Bowser once again)

Toad: The princess has been captureddddd!!

(Mario turns angrily at Toad)

Mario: You dirty b*tch.