Mario: Mama f***er!
(Mario is cross-eyed, standing near a sign that says "Super Psychic Italian Genie. Knows everything in the universe. Cost: One Spaghetti Bowl
Mario: La la la hmm hmm hmm, la la la hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm*humming tune of Super Mario Bros.*
Stacy:Hmm?... What's this? *sees the sign and gets interested* Ooh! *gives Mario her spaghetti*
Mario: Oh yeah! *slides over to Stacy* Oh, you're so good! Let'sa Go!
Stacy: *looks to her sides then turns to Mario* Uh, Excuse me, but, did that cute guy from yesterday really though I was beautiful?
Mario: Hoo hoo hoo... *shakes head* No!
(Stacy looks at Mario angrily. She is suddenly replaced by SuperMarioGlitchy3)
SuperMarioGlitchy3: Where to buy a pet Russian dolphin?
Luigi: Why does no one pay attention to Weegee?
Mario: (singing Bethoven's fifth symphony) Nobody cares! Nobody cares!
(Luigi looks sad)
Goomba: What's 9 + 10?
Peach: Why do my farts smell?
Toad: Why are you so mean to me?!
Chain Chomp: WHAT THE F*CK IS A SONIC?!
Po: Weed... Amount... Legal... NYC.
Policemen: *looks angry* Hey! You got a license for that?!
Mario: *makes a troll-face* Yeeees?
(Mario gets arrested)
Mario: SHIT!! *looks the work posters* Oh No! Mamma Mia... *looks at the spaghettiria poster and is * Whoa!
- *The door bell rings at a house and FM answers the door*
Slowpoke: *holding a basket* Trick or Treat!
- FM looks annoyed and closes the door*
Slowpoke: Oh- Oh WTF? *walks onto the sidewalk* God d*mnit you won't gimme a chance! Just gimme a F*cking Chan- *Gets hit by Mario on his kart*
Mario: *singing and dancing, while driving* B*tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b*tch, get out the way!
(Mario crashes in a dark neighborhood and jumps out of his kart.)
Mario: Ohh, very scary! Hmmm... *looks at the map, squinting* What the f*ck are we looking at? Ohh...
(Sees a restaurant ahead. He thinks it's the spaghettiria and walks in.)
Mario: La la la hmm hmm hmm, la la la...
(Freddy pops out, getting thrown into a wall near Mario)
Mario: *scared* Whaaa!!!
(Skerpup talks to the officer who is annoyed)
Officer: No, No, NO, A THOUSAND (Jumpman covers his mouth) F@$#ING TIMES, NO!!! *has bloodshot eyes* I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS (Mr. Game & Watch covers his mouth) S#&T!! GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO (Mr. Game & Watch covers his mouth) F#$%ING DO IT!!!!!!! And most importantly.... *turns to Freddy* F@%K... YOU!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Screams as he jumps out the window and runs away from the restaurant*
(Mario is looking freaked out)
Skerpup: Well, if you're here for the job, I think a spot just opened. Ahh, don't worry about that guy! He didn't get along with the robots!
(Freddy turns on with a glitchy noise)
Freddy: Hey there buddy. How's it going?
- 12 AM comes
- *phone rings*
Phone Guy: Hello? Hello hello? Well if you're hearing this, then you're f*cked. You're just f*cked.
- Music-box version of Toreador March plays
Mario: *ranting* Where's my spaghetti? Where's my spaghetti?
Mario: I work in a spaghettiria and I'm not even provided free spaghetti!
- Mario looks at the monitor
Mario: Ooh! Nice computer you got here!
- Mario grunts angrily
Mario: It doesn't even get on YouTube!
Mario: F*ck this!
- Mario turns on the light and sees Freddy.
- Mario screams and keeps spamming the light and sees Pedobear, Yogi Bear, Toad in a bear suit and Barney. Barney sings 'I Love You, You Love Me', causing Mario to panic desperately try to put out the light.
Mario: I think I'll just stay here for now...
- 1 AM comes
Mario: *looks outside door* Hey, Imma hungry...*leaves security room and crawls into stage room*
(The animatronics suddenly turn on.)
Freddy: *glitch noise* *robotic voice as he slowly turns to Mario* It's r*ping time.
Chica: *spazzing out* PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Mario: *walks into supply closet* Hey, have you got any food? Whoa! *notices the animatronic heads on the table* Mamaf*cker! *realizes there's no spaghetti in there*
- Strange deep laughter
Freddy: *appears behind Mario* *face is Smokey the Bear's face, using Smokey's voice* Only you can prevent *face and voice return to normal R*********PPEEE!!
Mario: *jumps and turns to Freddy, panicked* Ahhhahhhahahahaa!!! *runs away screaming*
Freddy: *singing* Look at that booty, show me the booty, gimme the booty, I want the booty, back up the booty, I need the booty...
Mario: AAAHH! WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT?!
Chica Head: Bak, bak bak bak, *turns to Mario* Pizzaaaa...
- Mario throws a Chica Head at Freddy
Freddy: Ow, sh*t!
Mario: AHHHHHHH!!! *runs out of closet* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Foxy: *playing the piano and singing Bed Intruder* Hide your kids, hide your wife, Hide your kids, hide your wife...
- Mario is looking freaked out as he watches.
Foxy: *continues, looking at Mario* And hide your husband cuz they're rapin everybody out here.
Chica, Bonnie, & Freddy: *pop up on stage out of nowhere*
Mario: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! *runs down hallway screaming*
- 2 AM comes
- Mario is looking out the window, checking for the animatronics.
Phone Guy: Hello? Hello? Very evil demons are in the first floor. They have twelve p*nises!
- Mario turns to the phone, wierded out.
Phone Guy: They will insert them into your orifices! *censored noises* Yeah, nevermind, scratch that. It's best just not to get caught.
Mario: *opening and closing door*
Phone Guy: Okay, I'll leave you to it.
Foxy: *appears at door* Hey dude, just wanted to let you know the pizza's ready.
Mario: No, go away!
Foxy: Sorry man, I'm just curious.
Chica: *outside of window* Pizzaaaa...
Freddy: *in office somehow, humping pizza* GET IN MAH BELLY!
Foxy: Hey dude, you finished with that pizza?
Freddy: *gets mad* I'M GOING TO R*PE YOU!
Chica: *starts screaming*
Freddy & Chica: *start wrestling on the floor*
Bonnie: *barges in* Someone removed the frickin' PIZZAAAAAAaaAaaaAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Freddy, Chica, Foxy & Eggman: *screaming*
Mario: *takes out a cellphone and calls Mario's Ristorante*
SuperMarioFan590 (as the guy who takes your order): Hello sir! What would you like to order?
Chica: No! *knocks phone out of Mario's hand* Pizza! Pizza! Pizza? Pizza!
SuperMarioFan590: Sayy whaaaat?
Eggman: No! *knocks phone out of Chica's hand* Pingas pingas pingas pingas!
SuperMarioFan590: *gets mad* We don't have that stuff!
- 2:30 AM
Delivery Guy: Hello ma'am, here's your pizza.
Chica: Woohooo! PIZZAAAA!!! *humps pizza*
Delivery Guy: Aaaand that'll be $12.95.
Chica: *stares at the Delivery Guy for a moment then puts on a magician's hat* Would you like to see a magic trick?
Delivery Guy: *is inside Freddy's mouth, screaming*
Chica: *turns to the audience* Pizza!
- 3 AM
Phone Guy: The animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. So remember, these guys hold a special place in the hearts of children, and we need to show them a little respect, right? Ok.
Bonnie: *running in hall, saying EHRMEHGERRRDDJUSTINBIEBBERRRRRRR!
- near Pirate's Cove, Freddy sneaks up behind Foxy
Freddy: Surprise, motherf*cker!
Freddy: I love you!
Foxy: Shut up, you had your finger up my a*s!
Freddy: Because I love you.
Chica: *in a room* Mr. stomach, are you hungry? *makes stomach talk* I'm always hungry! Now make with the pizza, fatso! *normal voice* *laughs* You're the stomach. Numnumnumnum. I am lonely.
Mario: Mama mia! Boy, oh boy...
Justin Bieber: *running down hall screaming*
Bonnie: *chasing after Justin Bieber* OHMIGERD JUSTIN BIIIEBERRRR--
Mario: Hey man, let me do my job, alright?
Bonnie: F*ck you! *continues running*
Mario: *grunts* These guys are getting more annoying than scary!
Golden Freddy: *appears out of nowhere behind Mario* Hi.
Mario: What?! *turns around* AH. F*CK YOU!! OH GOD! WHAT THE F*CK?! WHAT THE F*CK, OKAY?!
Golden Freddy: *spits out spaghetti*
Mario: Oh! Ohhhh... Alrighty! Come here, fishy fishy-
- Toad's face appears in the background, screaming, causing Mario to panic and try to run away but the game crashed.
- ERROR: Merio64.exe has stopped responding.
Mario: *head is on Foxy's body*
Phone Guy: Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike (rest is inaudible)
Goomba, Koopa, Luigi & Toad: *partying around*
Toad: My name's Toad! AND III......LIKE....SPAGHETTTI!!!!!!
- Mario grunts angrily
Toad:We're gonna have a duel!
Mario: Shut the f*ck up! *bites Toad's head*
Everyone but Mario and the Animatronics: *starts flipping out*
Mario: Oh my god I'm so sorry...JUST KIDDING B*TCH! *puts on a pair of "Deal with It" shades*
Mario: *wakes up in security office* Hmm? ...just a dream?... DAMMIT! Why couldn't it have been real...Mamaf*cker! Mama mia...
- 4 AM
Mario: *eyes are bloodshot red*
Bonnie: I'm hungry!!
Chica: Where's my pizza? Where's my pizza?
Mario: YOU JUST HAD ONE! Go away! Can't your buy one youreslves?!
Eggman: *on the stage* *calling Mario's Ristorante* Pingas pingas pingas pingas!
SuperMarioFan590: *angry* I, don't sell pingas here!
Foxy: *at window* You can't stay in there forever!
Mario: Ha ha ha! Hee hee! La la la, hmmm hmmm hmmm *sees power level dropping* Wahh!!!
Chica: Defeated now, BIATCH?!
Mario: *panics* Ahhhahhhhahhh!
Freddy: *Laughing* I'm coming for you!
Mario: *has an idea* *battery power is at 2%* Waaaahhhhhhhhh! *throws an Amp at the computer monitor* Vegeta, what does the scouter say about its power level?!
Mario: No! IT'S OVER 9,000!!!!!! *monitor starts exploding and power level of energy becomes INFINITE%* TOTAL BAD*SS!!!! *starts dancing around*
Freddy: HE F*CKING CHEATED!!!!!!
Bonnie & Chica: *fires machine gun through glass*
Foxy: You... f*cking cheater! I'm gonna kill youuuu! *glitches through door*
Mario: Nononononononono! *closes door on Foxy just in time*
Foxy: Ow, f*ck! Ow, god!
Mario: Yeah! Ha ha hah!
Freddy: *is suddenly behind Mario* Gotcha, b*tch!
Mario: Dammit! *next scene, is in Bonnie's mouth*
- 5 AM
Phone Guy: Hey, you're doing great! Most people don't last this long! I'm not implying that they die, that's-that's not what I meant.
Mario: Better safe than sorry, better safe than sorry, better safe than sorry.... *has bloodshot eyes and is chaining up the doors* Hey, I'm a hungry...
Chica: Bak, bak bak, bak bak bak
Foxy: Hey dude, just wanted to let you know the pizza's ready.
Chica: *runs to room, but finds spaghetti, not pizza* Aww! *takes a bite* Ugh! It tastes like sh*t!
Foxy: Haw Haw!
Mario: *is enraged at the insult to spaghetti and eyes are flaming* Hey! *goes up to the stage, angry* You don't. F*ck. With Mario.
Foxy: *taunts* You ain't gon' do shiiiiiiiit. You ain't gon' do shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
- Mario angrily stares at Foxy as he goes on.
Foxy: *starts dancing around* You, ain't, gon' do sh*t, you ain't gon' do sh*t, you ain't gon' do sh*t!
Mario: Wah-ha! *pulls out RPG launcher and shoots Foxy* You son of a b*tch!
Chica & Freddy: *start running away from Mario*
Freddy: Run, b*tch, RUUUUUUUN!!
Bonnie Hey, what's with all the scre-- OH MY F*CKING GO-- *gets blasted*
Freddy: *gets into office and closes doors* Ohhhhhfuuuckthiiisshiiiit!
Chica: *banging on door* PizzaaaaaaAAAaaaaA!
Mario: *screams as he runs at Chica* AHAHAHAHAHA-- *attacks Chica and she blows up*
Freddy: *checking cameras, notices Mario*
Mario: *has his face on the screen* IMMA GONNA GETCHOO
Freddy: *panics and jumps away* AH! OH MY GOD! Oh my god! OH!
Mario: *sprints down the West hall, laughing ominously*
Freddy: *quickly closes the door* Ohsh*tOHSH*TOHSH*T! *hyperventilates* I'm so...startled....
Mario: *spazzes out at the window* WHAT'S UP, F*CKEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR?!
Freddy: OH, JESUS CHRIST!! *power runs out* F*ck. I'm so, startled...
Mario: *appears in corner, while lights flicker on and off. Room gets fully dark. Mario has a death animation of screaming and spazzing with the "Pingas" audio file playing multiple times.*
- 6 AM *children cheer*
Manager: *walks in* Hi kids, we're home early- *sees naked Mario with a bunch of knocked out robots*
Mario: Oh, hello, there you are.
Manager: *angry* Ey-wha-WHAT THE F*CK?! YOU HAD ONE JOB! OOONE JOB! *eye twitches*
Mario: Hey, have you got any food?
*END OF VIDEO*